David Kim

Oliver Chen, Reporter

David Kim is a man of taste

The time is 1 AM. With a family sized bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos in one hand and a bright green two liter of mountain dew in the other, David Kim begins yet another night of rigorous Roblox training. While the mere mortals of Ames High remain slaves to their need for sleep, David grinds until dawn.

Since he began his vibrant Roblox career in the fifth grade, David has spent countless nights training his roblox skills. “My mom doesn’t like non family friendly games,” explained David. “It’s more family friendly and fun compared to Minecraft.” His dedication shows – as of publication date, David has logged over 15,000 hours on his account, a number that is sure to rise as he perfects his skills.

Aside from his Roblox career, David possesses seemingly superhuman tennis abilities. Since David first stepped onto the court in the first grade, he has swiftly ended many a mans’ tennis career.

“My favorite match was when I first won a tennis tournament. It was during finals when I played someone with a really fast serve.” said David, calmly reciting one of his many impossible victories. “I ended up making an epic comeback in the second set and won five games in a row. Then he rage quit.”

Don’t let his swole physique and stylish Andy Kim hand-me-downs fool you though – David Kim is a man of unparalleled intellect and sophistication. When not grinding on Roblox, David has a cultivated musical palate, digesting everything from old classics such as Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 17 in G Major to the intricate sociopolitical commentary of Lil Pump and Big Shaq. David’s clarinet abilities are unparalleled as well, having secured him a principal clarinet position at the Berlin Philharmonic.

And that’s David Kim.

Make sure to find the right kind of christian server.”

— David Kim