Gabriel “Juicy” James Woodbeck


Aaron Marner, Online Editor

When you walk down the halls of Ames High, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle of over a thousand students. However, one individual stands above them all. He is the man all women want. He is the man all men want to be. He is Gabe Woodbeck, known to millions of Americans simply as, “Gabe the Babe.”


Gabe, a junior, is a man of many talents. He once scored a 40 on the ACT. As a toddler, he was believed to have ran a 3.9 40-yard-dash. Gabe is the current world record holder for the record of “most world records.” The author of 7 New York Times bestsellers, Gabe is one of the most important people of the 21st century.


Arguably the most versatile athlete the world has seen since Bo Jackson, Gabe believes he will be a member of two state champion teams, saying, “We are probably going to win state in both [iBall and Baseball] this year.” Gabe is a man of multiple positions on the baseball diamond. He says he usually plays second base, but he “may play bench this year.”


Gabe attributes some of his utter perfection to his brother, Zach. Zach, who is a senior at Ames High, has been a big help to Gabe.


“He does everything a year before I do and then tells me what to expect. He helps me succeed and it’s nice to have a person in your family so close in age that you can bond with,” Gabe said.


A man with more confidence than Dwight Schrute on a sales call, Gabe fully believes he’s better than his brother at literally everything. When asked who would win between him and his brother if they played each other in a game of curling, Gabe said, “Probably me. Neither of us has ever played curling but I’m better than him at basically everything so me.”

Gabriel is cool.