Make AHS more like HSM


Like any middle-schooler, full of ennui and deeply unsatisfied with my hair, I spent my middle school years daydreaming about high school. The thought of my glorious future got me through the many horrors of adolescence. Lost in daydreams, nothing could touch me.

I knew what high school would be like. My friends and I would sashay through the hallways, cloaked in beautiful wizard’s robes, carrying wands and practicing spells under our breath. (Admittedly, most of my information about the school system at that time came from the Harry Potter series.)

When my 11th birthday rolled around and no Hogwarts letter landed on my windowsill, I knew it was time to get a new dream. A realistic dream. High School Musical.

For those of you who haven’t watched the glorious mix of decent singing and mediocre acting that is High School Musical, you are missing out. One of my friends once described HSM as “the biggest overreaction to crème brulée ever.” It’s wonderful. It’s legendary. It has choreography that includes dramatic singing on golf courses (but that’s HSM 2). Plus, I mean, Zac Efron. Need I say more?

You can imagine my disappointment when the first day of high school passed without a single spontaneous outburst of song. Not one synchronised dance number. Not even one glimpse of Zac Efron. I went home from school, posed dramatically against a door, and sang my heart out in between bouts of tears.

Over time, I came to accept that high school is nothing like its portrayal in Hollywood hits. There were no burn books, no countries for me to inherit, no vampires to slay. For that, I was grateful. The less drama, the better. The lack of singing, however, still frustrates me. So I propose a solution.

Bring your dance moves (don’t pretend you don’t know the choreography to We’re All in This Together) and spur-of-the-moment duets. Burst into song and watch as your friends miraculously begin to harmonize with you. It works every time.

A relationship ends? Lean against a wall and stare gloomily into the distance while singing about lost love. Fail a test? Storm out of the classroom singing showtunes. Bonus points if you throw test papers in the air. You see where I’m going with this. Spontaneous song makes any situation better, 100% of the time. Plus, your teachers will really appreciate it.

It’s impossible to end this without an HSM quote. So getcha head in the game, get out of the status quo, and start singing. This could be the start of something new and we’re all in it together. It’s gonna be fabulous.