The Courtyard Squirrel


Shelby Reeves

The legend of the courtyard squirrel. Universally regarded as the pride and joy of Ames High, the squirrel has successfully made it to infamy through hushed hallway whisperings. The life of the squirrel began with his humble, blind and naked birth. As our squirrel finally ventured into the real world, he was keenly aware that his first year of life would be full of perils.

Thankfully, our very own Jill Zmolek has successfully domesticated this squirrel.


“We looked into each other’s eyes, and through the chaos of the world, there was respect,” says Zmolek.


What exactly does one do with a domestic squirrel? The possibilities are truly endless. Jill shares her squirrel with an anonymous group of seniors. One reports, “We prefer to remain silent about our pet, but I have taken it for a walk or two.”


Shrouded in mystery and legend, it is difficult to piece together factual information. An eyewitness account claims that the squirrel is able to communicate telepathically. Another counters this statement, calling it to our reporter’s attention that “sometimes people just walk away from animals all on their own, it wasn’t telepathy.” Maybe this friendly conflict was exactly what the squirrel wanted.


Could it possibly be a ploy by administration to raise morale? Or is our squirrel a creature who skitters across our campus under the radar, pausing only to glance up at the sky for a sign from the heavens above.
Many traditionalists believe that the squirrel is nothing more than your everyday agile tree-dwelling rodent with a bushy tail, typically feeding on nuts and seeds. However, the few among us that hold fast to their idea that there is truly something more give us hope for the future of Ames High garden pests.