Tiger Mothers Paws All Fun

Just an average tiger mother posing with her cubs.

Just an average tiger mother posing with her cubs.

What does stress mean to the average student at Ames High? Is it that fear one feels after having procrastinated too long on Reddit? Or that sudden realization that, a period ago, your two essays and project answering the question “Is infertility a genetic disease?” were due? Whatever it may mean for the layman, “stress” is merely another word I had to memorize from Merriam-Webster’s dictionary at the tender age of 4.

In a recent polling, nine out of ten students claimed their mothers were overly strict. The other ten percent declined to answer, in fear their mothers would find out. This imaginary poll proves that tiger mothers are real and on the prowl, forever growing in both strength and numbers. They pride themselves with making their children’s lives miserable, feeding off their children’s tears. In a tiger mother’s eyes, her child must earn his or her stripes either academically, musically, or physically. In short, they must be purfect. When asked how living with a tiger mother is, senior Nate Carter sobbed, “It’s literally bad.” Nate Carter is not alone. Many others here at Ames High complain about having too much pressure placed upon them by their mothers. They plan to form a club called Tiger Cubs Anonymous later this spring.

How fitting is the name “Tiger Mother”? Of all animals, why the tiger? Let’s begin by comparing the average tiger mother to the average mother tiger. Tigresses, as they are better known as, are overly protective of their young–something better known as “hovering”. They also partition more food to the dominant cub of theirs–“picking favorites”. Lastly, tigresses stimulate their cub’s circulation and bowel movements by rubbing their cub’s stomach–this one translates verbatim, you’d be lying if you said your parents never did this. The list goes on, but my creativity is limited: only three examples will be provided. The similarities between tiger mothers and mother tigers are simply uncanny.

I don’t altogether condone the parenting technique of tiger mothers, but there’s no denying that they’re rather successful in accomplishing their goals. From the jungles of Africa to the homes of Ames High students, tiger mothers have managed to make a home for themselves, with many tails to tell. To be honest, it’s something that should be embraced. Only tiger mothers can produce such well behaved and talented children. They are essentially the Verizon Wireless of parenting. If it wasn’t for tiger parenting, we would not be graced with the genius of Beethoven or the ferocity of tiger cubs. Does this mean that I’ll take the tiger parenting approach when I have children? Of course not, there is no such thing as a tiger father. I will personally be taking the “Craw Dad” approach when it is time for me to rear my children.