Change: Con: Change just does not make sense

Passing periods at Ames High have always been fun. I hear many things in between my classes; interesting conversation, Betsy Dilla’s laugh (the greatest laugh ever), and great oldies from Lite 104.1. However, the one thing that has always bothered me is the jingling of change in people’s pockets. I realized how much I dislike the sound of jingling pocket change, as well as how much I just hate change in general. Change serves no earthly purpose except to make things more inconvenient. It takes up space in cars, and although there are things to put change into, I am a teenager on the go and don’t have the time or motivation to put change in proper receptacles. Change also holds up lines at busy places of business. I have also spent an absurd amount of time waiting behind an 80-year-old woman who decided to pay the entire bill in pennies. If change didn’t exist, business in the United States would skyrocket because it would give people renewed energy to go out and spend money. Change itself is ridiculous. It makes sense for quarters to be the biggest, but not for dimes to be the smallest. That is like making the smallest bag of popcorn the second most expensive. It just doesn’t make sense! Also, every piece of change is silver, except for the bronze penny. The penny, on a good day, doesn’t look like poop. Whenever I see a penny, I think of poop. That is what I think I am paying with when I am forced to pay with pennies. This brings me to another point: change is about as unsanitary as someone sneezing in your face. Hundreds, possibly thousands, of people handle change before it reaches your hands. Another safety hazard of pocket change is that it is the perfect size to choke on. As a former choke victim, I can assure you that choking is not fun. I am not saying all change should be banished. I believe the proper course of action would be to start making a better attempt at charging goods and services in whole dollar increments. That way, all you have to deal with is green paper that has trace amounts of cocaine on it. I believe that the penny should be phased out over a certain period of time. People have recently resorted to throwing pennies away rather than dealing with their inconveniences. The government is spending millions of dollars unnecessarily minting coins that will just end up being thrown away. We could use that money to properly fund more useful programs. The only two pieces of silver that should be in circulation are the quarter and the Sacagawea dollar. Without the quarter, we would not have violent, yet entertaining, ways to pass time in study hall. The dollar coin is a respectable piece of coinage because it is at heart a piece of paper. Change is the biggest waste in modern American society. Millions of dollars are literally thrown away every year. Hundreds of children lose their lives annually from the choking hazards caused by change. Most importantly, change is just extremely inconvenient. A penny saved is a penny that will just end up being thrown away.