Letter to the Editor

To the Editor: Do you remember cubbies? You know, those little shelves and open lockers that we used in elementary school? I think that we should go back to the cubbie system. And do you want to know why? Well, I’ll tell you why! Cubbies are made of wood and wood is so easy to find! I mean, just look out the window and I bet you can see a tree, can’t you? Well cubbies are made out of trees, and trees are plentiful, and the removal of trees from their natural habitat has absolutely no repercussions! Now lockers are made out of metal, but look outside. Do you see any metal ready for the mining? No! I certainly don’t see any! So using cubbies will end global warming (which doesn’t exist). Another reason we should revert to Cubbie-town USA, as I like to call it, is that it prevents terrorism. If you can see inside someone’s locker you can ensure that they aren’t hiding Bin Laden. You can also check for drugs and the b-word. A fourth reason we should go back to cubbies is that they save time. How many times have you been running late to class and you just can’t get the combo right? How many times have you FORGOTTEN your combo? Probably a lot. Like, twelve. But with cubbies there is no lock! It’s easier than apple pie! And I can hear you negative Nancies out there saying “Oh gosh, well someone could steal my stuff. I don’t like that.” Well, shut up Nancy, I hate you! It’s called the honor system, and it will ensure that not only will our belongings remain safely tucked away, but that the world will be a better place. So, in summary, cubbies not only would prevent terrorism from entering America, it would also stimulate the economy and go back in time and stop Communism. Love, junior Jon Link