Open house season

Graduation open houses are one of the great American pastimes. Open houses combine several of the basic skills everyone should learn in high school: time management, self-control, completely bs-ing that you’re always happy that people are graduating (who doesn’t love the random fifth-year senior or two), trying to be sad that everyone is leaving, saying you will keep in touch, and most importantly eating as much as humanly possible. Beyond the valuable skills required, undoubtedly the best thing about open houses is the amazing food. The goal is to eat everyone else’s food, thereby never paying for food yourself or eating meals with your family for almost a month. This is especially helpful during these hectic ends-of-the-school-year months or, for seniors, when crazy family members come to town for graduation. The best way to get into perfect eating shape is to stretch your stomach. You can do this by eating increasingly larger meals. Eventually, you’ll be able to eat all day and feel fine. Senior Sarah McClanahan has been on her “A-game” this year while “open housing”. “Open houses are fun times. Last weekend Neva Hibbing and I went to 17 open houses, we ate something at all of the open houses. It’s all about the pacing.” McClanahan said. After all that food, you’re probably going to wonder how you’re going to burn all those calories. But don’t worry there is an easy solution to that problem: literally run to the next open house. This works the best on days with a lot of open houses because by the time you get to the next one, besides being sweaty and possibly smelly, you will have burned enough calories to be hungry again. Most importantly, make sure you don’t overeat. If you eat too much at one open house, you may miss out on amazing food at another open house. “It’s important to make sure you don’t overdo it at any one house,” senior Chuck Cleary said. My buddy Sean Lou had about five plates of Indian food at Jason Misra’s house, and he was done for the day, despite having six more houses to get to.” This is a classic example of too much food at one house. Of course, it is sad to see your friends leaving, or your friends staying home and you leaving, but who doesn’t love a good party? Since the most popular extracurricular activity in college is partying, it’s not a horrible idea to get started now.