So you mean to tell me that Cassandra can’t marry Dylan, because they are actually siblings who were switched at birth? Dylan also has an illegitimate child by Danielle, Cassandra’s former college roommate? That illegitimate child is also the doctor who helped save Dylan and Cassandra’s father’s life from the burning wreck of a soapbox derby car? WHA?!! Nothing like a complex story line to make your brain implode. Soap operas, also called soaps for those who live under a rock, are the daytime television shows that dominate the three big television networks: CBS, ABC, and NBC. Soap operas are best known for their extremely complex storylines that inevitably cross at some point. Most story lines involve a tumultuous love triangle that usually has some sort of twist to it. “They simulate interesting lives filled with plot twists and good looking people for people who cant do it themselves,” senior Felix Owusu said. “Soap operas are kind of corny imitations of real life for people who work nights or stay at home all day.” The origins of soap operas derive from the early days of radio. The dramas would usually be played during the day, giving the shows their secondary name of “daytime dramas.” With the advent of television in the 1940’s the natural move was made from radio to TV when television soap operas began to air in the 1940’s. Since that time, such soap operas as The Young and the Restless and As The World Turns have aired thousands of episodes. An award ceremony was even created to celebrate the pioneers of daytime television. It was ingeniously called the Daytime Emmys. “They could put more valuable stuff on, you know?” freshmen Paige Gwiasda said. “I’d rather watch politics.” Soap operas have also opened themselves up to be enjoyed by teenagers as well. One of the most famous teen soap operas is the Canadian show Degrassi: The Next Generation. “Degrassi is the only soap opera that I actually watch.” Owusu said. “They teach you nice lessons, like not taking drugs or cheating on someone or not videotaping drunk people when they flash you and then blackmailing them for new cameras.” Those who most commonly watch soap operas include the elderly, homemakers, and those who work night jobs. Soaps are typically limited to those who have longer lunches at Ames High. Many students are glad for the fact that they do not have the ability to watch soap operas during the school year. “They suck,” senior Alan Moss said. “I would rather watch Al Roker’s gastro-intestinal bypass surgery.” Homemakers and elderly women will watch soap operas for years to come. The reason? They don’t want to watch Cyberchase on Iowa Public Television.