Stephen DakThe LT of fantasy cross country

There is nothing like the State Cross Country meet. Where else can one find over 800 high school kids clad in skimpy school uniforms, their faces being manipulated into hundreds of expressions resembling different degrees of constipation, their legs burning, and their lungs screaming for oxygen? Where else can one find normally mild-mannered honor students sprinting and subsequently vomiting in the name of running fast? With the possible exception of John Sletten’s dream world, the answer is nowhere. However, every once in awhile there is someone who sticks out in this crowd of masochistic running fools. Or some, in Stephen Dak’s case, aren’t in the crowd to begin with. Dak is a senior at Marshalltown high school, and is now a two-time 4-A state cross-country champion. Saturday, October 28, Dak tied the state meet record by running a 5-K in 15:05, with no one but cheering spectators to push him along. The WEB does not have the exact mile splits for this race, but if one allows 26 seconds for the 188 meters at the end, Dak would have averaged 4:53 for each mile. This sort of beastliness leads to many important questions about Dak. Most notable among these is: how many Marshalltown girls does he get? “About 150,” Dak said. He answered this question while surrounded by 5 of these babes, and his voice was barely audible over their lustful squealing, proving the truthfulness of his statement. In fact, many other people close to Dak can also attest to his popularity. “He’s just amazing,” Marshalltown admirer Heather Nichols said. “He has a really good head about how good he is, and he works really hard. All the girls definitely love him.” Dak’s success is not just limited to the world of cross-country and being a general stud, however. Last spring, he was a state champion in the 1600 meter run and the 4×800 meter relay in track. He was also runner-up in the 3200 meter run. Jacob Schrumm, a 4×800 teammate of his, had a glowing description of Dak. “He’s definitely a great guy, in fact, he’s pretty much the sh*t,” Schrumm said. “I’d say he gets adequate female attention, as well.” Ames High has not been left out of the crowd of Dak admirers. Ames High runner freshman Leo Bird once ran with Dak for the first 400 meters of a race, and claims that it changed his life forever. “It felt like I was going really fast. Actually, I don’t remember very much,” Bird said. “I just wish I could run with him for longer.” “He is just so sexy!” former AHS varsity Cross Country star Brandon Gill said. “Plus, I bet if anyone passed him he’d just do a major spin-kick to their face.” The Ames High cross-country team had a successful race of their own at state, finishing 10th place. But in addition to celebrating their own hard work, the whole team was happy for Dak as well. In an enviroment as competitive as the state meet, Iowa is fortunate to have someone like Dak who can bring all fans of running and pain together.