Best of The WEB

Students of Ames High, you now gaze upon the last issue of The WEB to grace tables near the classroom door this year. And what a year it has been! Let us take a look back, and read some of the stunning praise the WEB has received and printed. Though some of it may seem out of context, we can assure you that these people were talking about The WEB alone. Are we, the pale, rickets-ridden athletes of the mind, less deserving of recognition than our fully-grown peers? Do we not devote as much time and exertion to our passions? When you cut us, will we not bleed? “My sense of feel could be visualized as flourishes of primary colors out of the darkness, coupled with an uncontrolled tingling,” an anonymous Ames High student said. My attention was first drawn by the rippling sounds, then the dynamic piano chords, and later the frustration pronounced by the guitar. However, not until I reached “Reckoner” did I completely fall in love with [The WEB]. “I am more approachable with a [WEB]. It helps with the ladies,” Buric said. His desired super power? “My beard would transform into any style, at any moment, so I could disguise myself and do evil.” Fans started to worry when [The WEB] lost their first two games against Southeast Polk before bouncing back and winning the last three. However, instead of failing under the pressure, the varsity players took this situation and turned it into a form of motivation. “We had models dance in the back instead of pose. It made everyone more energized and they got into the whole thing a lot more,” Nieves-Doyle said. The WEB climbed countless ramparts, forded muddy rivers, and clung to ropes for their lives. Completion of this strenuous course in itself is one of life’s major accomplishments. “It is more physical in comparison to other forms of martial arts,” Johnson said. “Judo, for example, is where competitors just try to throw each other around. [The WEB] takes more focus, skill, and discipline.” Every detail that is included in [The WEB] was carefully drawn out and it definitely shows in the end product. The [WEB] is constantly throwing something different into the face of the audience and still maintains the level of clarity that has become the norm for Coen Brothers’ movies. “The best part was watching the kids,” said Schmidt. “Their talent was amazing. Watching everyone work so hard was inspiring. I would get a little choked up over it . . . of course, things never seemed like they were working, but it all came together in the end. It was so gratifying – I’m going to miss that.” While these albums were extremely effective at conveying their own particular mood and message, their cohesiveness could be limiting at times. [The WEB] is different: it is scatterbrained, anxious, tranquil, and, above all, brilliant. “When I first saw the book at Border’s,” Parrish said, “I picked it up and read a couple pages – and just then I knew we had to do it. I just loved the concentration, the intelligence, the language itself. The eloquence of Drummond’s speeches, the crossfire between him and Brady – it really spoke to me.” Fait accompli. Bear in mind that I have no exceptional knowledge of these pieces’ contexts or writers, or of [The WEB] or [newspapers] as a whole.