PE is neither stupid not poopy

Oh no! I just remembered that I forgot to bring athletic shorts for PE! How could I have forgotten. . . I guess I got so engrossed in examining the underlying existential philosophy presented in Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov that bringing my PE shorts to school the next day slipped my mind. As Ron Weasley would say, I really need to sort out my priorities. With PE being such an integral part of a typical high-schooler’s curriculum, it’s a wonder that students often forget to bring their PE clothes. I mean, am I really going to need to know calculus and physics when I work for NASA as an aerospace engineer? Maybe a bit, but it’s just as important, if not more so, that I know how to save a swimmer that has suffered a spinal cord injury. There is totally water on Mars. Not only does one learn lifelong skills in PE, but it is also the sole reason Ames High is not morbidly obese. The 8 and a half hours of exercise I get a week, plus sporadic bike rides and pick-up games of basketball and ultimate, pale in comparison to the rigorous workout I get every week in my hour and a half of PE. No, the heart rate monitors don’t lie. I have earned that time in the zone, fair and square, not by tapping the monitor in an attempt to mimic the beat of my heart. I put my blood, sweat and tears into that 40 minutes, and it is that 40 minutes in the zone that keeps me from developing type-2 diabetes. But who doesn’t get an invigorating workout from PE? The effort that students give in this class is incredible. It’s really inspiring what students can do when they really put their mind to it. I see kids go out onto the tennis courts with a burning passion to play the best tennis they possibly can, and, by golly, I think I see the future of the USTA right here on the humble courts of Ames High. PE is a sparkling gem in our mundane curriculum. I’ve heard students say how strongly they dislike PE and how worthless it is, but I’m sure they’re just being sarcastic, for it is this class that teaches students the life skills that they will really need to know in the future. It is this class that keeps the student body fit as a fiddle. Indeed, it is this class that protects the inalienable rights of the student body; life, liberty, and the pursuit of fitness. Just kidding, PE sucks!