Brady: The hair needs to go

Sports people can debate all they want about Tom Brady’s legacy. I suppose that it’s fair to say he’s a pretty decent quarterback. He did throw a lot of touchdown passes a couple years ago. But there’s one thing that there can be no debate about: his hair. Brady’s new haircut makes him look like a certain prepubescent pop star who sings “Baby” and “One Time.” What’s sad is that he obviously spends time trying to perfect the soft and windswept hair, that, in the words of former teammate Randy Moss, makes him look like a girl. In a recent online column, Patriots fan and ESPN analyst Bill Simmons wrote that “a few weeks ago, all Patriots fans made a pact to pretend that Brady’s 2010 hairdo isn’t happening. We’re going to ignore it completely — even if his hair catches fire during a game and a referee puts it out with a challenge flag.” That’s probably the best attitude for a Patriots fan to adopt at this point. Now, we don’t know for sure if it’s completely Brady’s fault that his hair is so embarrassing. According to popular belief, Brady’s wife, Gisele Bundchen, calls the plays on her husband’s hair. In a talk show last month, New England radio host Greg Hill asked Brady , "Is there anything I can do to make you cut your hair?" "Um, you’ll have to speak to my wife about that," Brady replied. I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship. (Hint: not Goldilocks) At other times, he’s claimed the weather as the reason for his long hair. “I probably won’t cut it… I’ve got to stay warm,” Brady said. “It’s cold up here in New England.” Really, Tom? You get hit by 300 pound men on a daily basis, but you can’t handle the Boston winter? Recently, he was featured on the Sportscenter’s show “Mayne Event.” Host Kenny Mayne asked him, “What’s the deal with your hair?” Brady responded, “What do you mean, ‘What’s the deal with my hair?’ It’s just my hair. Why does everybody always want to talk about my hair? I mean, it’s no big deal, why don’t you talk to somebody else about their hair? I don’t care about my hair.” However, he spent the length of the interview running a pink curling iron through the back of his hair. Mayne went on to feature Justin Bieber on the show. Bieber had this to say about Brady’s hair: “Seriously dude, what’s up with Brady’s hair? He’s like 40, he’s gonna be gray soon, he’s gonna look stupid.” Later, the hair war continued when Bieber rapped about Brady’s hair. "Call up Mr. Brady/ Tell him leave his hair to the guy who sings ‘Baby.’" Now, I’m not saying I respect Justin Bieber. Very far from it. But I do agree with him on this one point: Tom Brady’s hair is a joke. No self-respecting professional athlete should have hair that looks like a teenage girl’s. Quite simply, it’s unacceptable. So please Tom, for the sake of men everywhere: cut your hair.