Between the Double Kevin Power Hour and some serious business competition, iBall is the greatest thing Ames High has churned out since Leslie Hall (and Ames High was left doubled over, reeling in pain after that one). âiBall allows regular people to bust out some goggles, put on some short shorts, and have a good time,â junior Minivan Philips, a noted physical tank, said. But what about those eccentric kids, the ones who might delegate a specific day to their favorite hero? iBall, like the champion sport it is, has them covered. âiBall games are the only thirty-two minutes of happiness I have in my life,â junior Daniel Heddendorf said. Now I know what youâre thinking, âBut KEVAHHHN, basketball is a guyâs sport! You just mentioned two amazing guys. As a girl, I donât think I could really go toe-to-toe with those skilled-at-sports athletic kids.â Well, youâre wrong. Just like any good sport, there is a lesser league for girls, too! Some might think having a girlsâ league separate from the boysâ league is inherently sexist. But the fact is biologically speaking, girlsâ bodies are ON AVERAGE smaller and weaker than guysâ. If there were co-ed leagues, girls would, frankly, stay on the bench putting their physiologically wider hips to good use. So, you preppy freshmen girls out there are probably reading this and are definitely thinking iBall is only for sweaty jocks and lame losers. There is no way you would want to be associated with any of them. After all, youâve watched Mean Girls , and you want to have your own dramatic high school career. Well, youâre wrong. It turns out to be like Mean Girls , simply name your iBall team after their clique, the Plastics. Soon you too will be getting into your very own over-the-top fight scenes and slutty Halloween costumes. While there are over 20 teams, only a few deserve any mention at all. Iâve compiled a list of standout teams from each grade. Freshman: Summer Trees; Sophomores: Team Pr0n (I donât get it); Juniors: TERMinators (Combining Term McClellandâs name with the Dominators); Seniors: Combat Time (the team has the raw talent, but it just doesnât have the passion needed for a great iBall team). Watch out.
Categories:
iBall
Kevin Babcock
•
January 28, 2011
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