The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

66°
The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

iBall

Between the Double Kevin Power Hour and some serious business competition, iBall is the greatest thing Ames High has churned out since Leslie Hall (and Ames High was left doubled over, reeling in pain after that one). “iBall allows regular people to bust out some goggles, put on some short shorts, and have a good time,” junior Minivan Philips, a noted physical tank, said. But what about those eccentric kids, the ones who might delegate a specific day to their favorite hero? iBall, like the champion sport it is, has them covered. “iBall games are the only thirty-two minutes of happiness I have in my life,” junior Daniel Heddendorf said. Now I know what you’re thinking, “But KEVAHHHN, basketball is a guy’s sport! You just mentioned two amazing guys. As a girl, I don’t think I could really go toe-to-toe with those skilled-at-sports athletic kids.” Well, you’re wrong. Just like any good sport, there is a lesser league for girls, too! Some might think having a girls’ league separate from the boys’ league is inherently sexist. But the fact is biologically speaking, girls’ bodies are ON AVERAGE smaller and weaker than guys’. If there were co-ed leagues, girls would, frankly, stay on the bench putting their physiologically wider hips to good use. So, you preppy freshmen girls out there are probably reading this and are definitely thinking iBall is only for sweaty jocks and lame losers. There is no way you would want to be associated with any of them. After all, you’ve watched Mean Girls , and you want to have your own dramatic high school career. Well, you’re wrong. It turns out to be like Mean Girls , simply name your iBall team after their clique, the Plastics. Soon you too will be getting into your very own over-the-top fight scenes and slutty Halloween costumes. While there are over 20 teams, only a few deserve any mention at all. I’ve compiled a list of standout teams from each grade. Freshman: Summer Trees; Sophomores: Team Pr0n (I don’t get it); Juniors: TERMinators (Combining Term McClelland’s name with the Dominators); Seniors: Combat Time (the team has the raw talent, but it just doesn’t have the passion needed for a great iBall team). Watch out.

Story continues below advertisement
Leave a Comment
Donate to The WEB
$300
$450
Contributed
Our Goal

Your donation will support the student journalists of Ames High School, and Iowa needs student journalists. Your contribution will allow us to cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The WEB
$300
$450
Contributed
Our Goal

Comments (0)

The WEB staff encourages you to exercise your First Amendment rights in this public forum. To comment, click on the "logged in" link below. Then click on the Google icon and sign in using your Google school account.

Do not post comments that are obscene or libelous. Refrain from writing comments that use copyrighted materials or that involve personal attacks, insults or threats. And please relate all comments to the story.
All The WEB Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.