Between the Double Kevin Power Hour and some serious business competition, iBall is the greatest thing Ames High has churned out since Leslie Hall (and Ames High was left doubled over, reeling in pain after that one). “iBall allows regular people to bust out some goggles, put on some short shorts, and have a good time,” junior Minivan Philips, a noted physical tank, said. But what about those eccentric kids, the ones who might delegate a specific day to their favorite hero? iBall, like the champion sport it is, has them covered. “iBall games are the only thirty-two minutes of happiness I have in my life,” junior Daniel Heddendorf said. Now I know what you’re thinking, “But KEVAHHHN, basketball is a guy’s sport! You just mentioned two amazing guys. As a girl, I don’t think I could really go toe-to-toe with those skilled-at-sports athletic kids.” Well, you’re wrong. Just like any good sport, there is a lesser league for girls, too! Some might think having a girls’ league separate from the boys’ league is inherently sexist. But the fact is biologically speaking, girls’ bodies are ON AVERAGE smaller and weaker than guys’. If there were co-ed leagues, girls would, frankly, stay on the bench putting their physiologically wider hips to good use. So, you preppy freshmen girls out there are probably reading this and are definitely thinking iBall is only for sweaty jocks and lame losers. There is no way you would want to be associated with any of them. After all, you’ve watched Mean Girls , and you want to have your own dramatic high school career. Well, you’re wrong. It turns out to be like Mean Girls , simply name your iBall team after their clique, the Plastics. Soon you too will be getting into your very own over-the-top fight scenes and slutty Halloween costumes. While there are over 20 teams, only a few deserve any mention at all. I’ve compiled a list of standout teams from each grade. Freshman: Summer Trees; Sophomores: Team Pr0n (I don’t get it); Juniors: TERMinators (Combining Term McClelland’s name with the Dominators); Seniors: Combat Time (the team has the raw talent, but it just doesn’t have the passion needed for a great iBall team). Watch out.