The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

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The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

Read this, you die.

I spite everyone in this facility that ever looked at me the wrong way. Let it be known school-wide that I’m better than all those little pissers. With great balls of rage, I take the stage and rip the heads off of all the clueless country bumpkins that persecute without shame, the poverty-stricken poor. In my opinion, education is worthless. It is a right of every American to NOT learn how to read, write, subtract, speak, think, and other synonyms of boring. Instead it should be required by all individuals to do whatever they want. We ought to understand that the symptoms of our times are in close coincidence with the symptoms of cancer of the brain. That said, we ought to look past our petty differences and realize that we are all exactly the same. We all look, think, and believe exactly the same thing. But perhaps it is not our fault that we keep our indignation of other people-folk. At root, once again, the government is the problem. I propose a revival, a revolution, a statement of mathematical fact, that there is no more sense in laws as there is no more sense in diet soda. Citizens Unite! All American high-school students ought to be reminded that their lives hang on the thread of good wealth and persecution of other people-folk; without injustice there is no justice; without pain there is no major highs; and without all of the people-folk united under one banner there is no spoon. Case Closed. Swear words are unnecessary in most cases. I want all of you to remember that there isn’t one case of good looks that doesn’t go unnoticed by certain mundane individuals who cast their gaze downward as they pass you by in the hallway. Derf off. And in such times and places that there can’t be made, dark times. Love doesn’t do anything in my times of old, and all of the stuff I did was not unmade. In case you were wondering, these are the ten, most common English words: the of and a to in is you that dank That sums up in good order everything that I learned during my rumpus with Ames High School.

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