Senioritis

So they told us we were supposed to write an opinion story for this issue a few weeks ago, and we were feeling pretty good about it. We were almost done with our first semester of senior year. College applications had been sent in. We were each only taking two real classes second semester. Yes, things were just peachy. Earlier this week, while we were watching YouTube videos and roflcoptering at MemeBase, we realized that we hadn’t written a single word for our story. Actually, we hadn’t even come up with a story idea. But since we’re seniors and we know how to keep it rill (actually, we didn’t want Michael to take away our Dutch privileges), we decided to reveal the truth about “senioritis” to everyone at Ames High. This senioritis business isn’t true. We absolutely haven’t lost any academic motivation since the beginning of our sophomore year. How much lower can an Ames High student get than celebrating a D on an AP Bio test, anyway? Our so-called “senioritis” set in over two years ago, but we just now started manifesting it to its fullest extent. Maybe it’s time for a name change. Perhaps what high schoolers have been referring to as “senioritis” is actually “I-just-got-into-college-and-I-will-spend-my-last-18-weeks-in-peace-by-golly-itis.” After the misery of AP Bio and AP U.S. History, we subjected ourselves to another year of difficult AP classes and demanding extracurricular activities in hopes of receiving a high-quality post-secondary education. So, after our combined course load of APUSH, AP Bio, AP Psych, AP Calculus, AP Physics (oh dear), AP European History, APLAC, AP Lit, AP Government, numerous Iowa State University classes, and more college essays than we care to discuss, here’s the truth: We’re pooped. Sure, we’re grateful that Ames High offers us such difficult classes and, yes, we’ve learned a lot, but we’re still only human. Not only that, we’re second-semester seniors. We’re going to be lazy. We’re going to fill up every instant of this semester with pure sloth in order to make up for our nonstop studying over the past three years. We might even reduce our cumulative knowledge from the past eighteen years of our lives, but we don’t care. This is our semester. Okay, that’s about all the thinking/ranting we can handle for the next three weeks. And don’t scoff at us after reading this. Everyone knows you’re only reading the Web so you don’t have to do your homework.