The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

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The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

Danny Schmidt

How do you like your coffee? I don’t know, I think that’s Joe’s thing. What is your secret identity? Next question. Is Joe Lunaburg secretly a giraffe? It’s no secret. A lot of people already know he is, but I think that the next and most important step is making giraffes feel welcome at our school, rather than treating them like outcasts. Who is more popular within the school, your father, or you? It’s no contest. I am generally a better person and therefore more popular. Why are cats the greatest animal on earth? Because dogs suck, and most aren’t very affectionate. What is your favorite spring pastime activity? I like passing the old pig skin to my buds while I tan and watch sports on top of buildings, or just on the ground. Are you a glass is half empty person, or a glass is half full person? I don’t understand what just came out of your mouth. Do werewolves exist? No. Why would you ask me that? All you really need to answer that question is a basic grasp on reality. Let’s get real here. If you there’s one piece of advice you have to offer to the rest of the world, what is it? Try to avoid Aqua Bear.

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