Uggs boots and sweatpants are for Dragon Ball Z characters

After living through the days when mullets were in style, we thought it couldn’t get any worse. But the fashion fascists that brought the dreaded Ugg boots to the land of the free proved otherwise. For high schools all around America, the first flake of snow means the tucking of Victoria’s Secret yoga pants into these lamb-skinned Oompa-Loompa boots. We even dare to put Uggs in the same category as Crocs, the only difference being the time in which they’re worn, unless you happen to be a younger Jack Sanders. We can’t remember a time when the halls of Ames High served a purpose other than a runway for these trendy booties. We get it, it’s pretty cold outside and your feet are constantly cold, but your dignity is at stake, along with the lives of hundreds of lambs grazing the grass on the outskirts of Australia. These boots also seem to go along with a certain type of look. The whole puffed up hair and the “Miss Me” jeans (that look like you bejeweled your buttocks) tucked into these designer booties. Not to mention the stench of Victoria’s Secret perfume you leave behind every time you pass us in the halls. It’s disgusting, it smells like a fusion of what mayonnaise and burnt mosquitoes would smell like. But not to worry, there are alternatives to this matter. You can a) use them for snowy days only, b) throw them away, or c) invest in Moon Boots. “Moon Boots are so much cooler than Uggs, they come in so many fun and festive colors,” senior Sophia Smarandescu said. “Uggs make you look like a yeti.” People automatically think of you in a different way when they see you walking down the hall. We are under the presumption that you want to show off your backside with the thin and stretchy layer of yoga pants. We are under the presumption that you want to show off how much money you spent on your designer pants or booties. By the way, those are not water-proof. You shouldn’t wear them for any deep snow situations. For those of you who are proud to wear what you wear and strut your stuff while doing it, good for you. This goes for brand-name-wearers and thrift-store-shoppers alike. After all, it’s not really about what you wear. It’s how you wear it. All the “Uggs,” “Miss Me” jeans, “Sperry’s” shoes, Moon Boots, yoga pants, v-necks, “Converse,” perfume, “Toms,” body spray, or jewelry mean nothing if you can’t be confident in wearing them. So, work it, girls. Even if you look ridiculous to us, what matters is that you’re happy in your own skin (and your lamb skin booties). By the way, you look like “Dragon Ball Z” characters in your sweatpants and mid-calf boots. Kamehameha!