Don’t Just Do That: Men

This one goes out specifically to you guys. Now, while you definitely have less to worry about considering your appearance on a daily basis, it’s imperative that you dress to impress. How about we start with the basics. Guys. You probably don’t realize it, but the kind of underwear you wear is important. While it is definitely a personal preference sort of thing, the visual aspect is perhaps different than you’d think. Granted, I don’t wear briefs or thongs, I stick to hipsters or bikini-style underwear, but it’s easier to get away with wearing whatever you want under your clothes when you’re a female. Let’s go over your main options: Briefs hold everything in, but they’re terribly unflattering. I’m not trying to bash those of you that choose to wear these, but really, it doesn’t look great unless you’re ripped. Boxers, on the other hand, tend to let you breathe more and they’re more typical for guys in our age group to wear. They’re not unflattering, and they come with fun designs. Boxer-briefs, in my opinion, are the ideal choice of underwear. They accentuate everything just right with the perfect amount of support. Next, let’s talk bottoms. Jeans are good. Sweatpants are good, as long as they’re not too short and not too baggy. Under no circumstances should you expose your entire bottom, no one wants to see that. Leave something to the imagination. Pleeeease don’t wear cargo pants unless you have an unnecessarily large amount of small items to carry in your pockets… in which case, you should just purchase a nifty backpack or bookbag. On that note, camoflague pants (or other clothing) is reminiscent of elementary schoolers… definitely not grown-up young men like yourselves. Now, shorts are where it gets difficult. They can’t be too long, and they can’t be too short; Ideally, they fall right at your knee. Denim shorts aren’t terrific, while cargo shorts and athletic shorts work just fine. Tops are much easier to find than anything else for your wardrobe. T-shirts, whether they be printed or plain, are acceptable in nearly every social setting at nearly any age. It’s easy to layer long-sleeve shirts under t-shirts or t-shirts under flannel, and it looks good most of the time. Short-sleeve button-up shirts are pretty tacky when worn alone, they make you look like an aging domestic male. One thing to watch is making sure you don’t wear colors that are too dark or too light for your complexion, as that could make you look washed out. Let’s address dress clothes. First of all, you should always own a dress shirt of any color and a nice, well-fitting pair of dress pants just in case a situation pops up in which these become necessities. Nice dress shoes are imperative, even if they’re your Dinkles (trust me, Dinkles work just fine). As you get older and find a point where you’re done growing (you’ll probably be an adult, so don’t worry too much about this), you should invest in a suit. And not any old dress coat and pants you picked out all by yourself at a department store, invest in a tailored suit that fits you well because it helps you appear dapper and doesn’t add extra pounds through clothing. Bow ties and ties are both totally acceptable, it just depends on the social setting. Finally, there are tons of shoes that look good when you’re dressing casually. Sneakers (not athletic shoes, though), boat shoes, sandals, and boots all work perfectly well. Converse and Vans are easy ways to go if you’re just starting to acquire a collection of shoes. Make sure you don’t wear socks that show too much above your shoes, as you’ll likely develop an awkward tan line… not to mention that exposed socks are a wee bit bizarre. Follow these simple guidelines and you’re sure to gain oodles of appeal from everyone you know. People will be impressed with how well you dress! Go get ‘em, tiger.