Our Thoughts on the 2012 MLB Season

The other day, in the course of our daily fantasy baseball check, we received quite the surprise in the post! Who would take the time to write us at school? We hadn’t the faintest idea. In fact, a concerned reader had sent us an informative pamphlet on some dentistry procedures that could aid us the next time we visited our oral surgeons. Did you know that at Ames Center for Cosmetic & Family Dentistry, you can get warm neck pillows, wax hand-dips, refreshments, music, and movies? We love all of those things. In fact, we were trying to think of things that we love as much as warm neck pillows, and we were drawing a collective blank. Then we realized: it’s April. We love baseball season even MORE than warm neck pillows! Oh my God! You see, a high schooler’s day through the bleak winter months can be bland, colorless, drab, melancholy. We struggled through months of snow and slush and despair. Meanwhile, Michael Pineda was gaining 15 pounds. But when that first thaw came, we breathed a collective sigh of relief. We weren’t together at the time, but we know it happened. You see, as the days ticked down on our wall calendars until Pitchers and Catchers reported, it was like a doomsday clock operating in reverse, especially with the anticipation of the Ryan Braun verdict hanging over our heads like a big icicle in a cave that hangs over people’s heads. But when that big metaphorical icicle didn’t fall and incite any 50 game penalties of damage, we were overjoyed. Yes, baseball was back. It came back much like a boomerang returns to the hands of he who threw it. Equipped with this Australian stylized toy, I felt like a boy in a candy shop who just happened upon a knapsack of quarters on his way to the dentist. And then turned around and went back to the candy shop! Because let’s be honest, the dentist is still pretty scary. Now the season of baseball is upon us, and there is no turning back. The only direction to move is forward, and that we will do for the rest of the season. We’re more excited than a Cubs fan who dreamt that Ryan Dumpster hit a ball out the infield. But unlike that fan that will inevitably wake up to 104 years of utter mediocrity, we will only awake to the beautiful smell of freshly cut infield grass and worms in the dirt. Mmmmm.