Shut up Ames High; you’ve said enough. The halls are are atwitter with excited schoolchildren talking about the next “cool” thing. While some might get swept up in the wave of excitement over this “sport,” I refuse to be. I won’t “stand” for this. Intramural Bullfighting in Ames High School is just a terrible idea. Some people aren’t even that well-informed about what this entails. Bulls fighting bulls…to death. I don’t even know who came up with this. It’s completely ridiculous. Traditional bullfighting involves a costumed person (called a matador or torero) who confuses a bull and then kills it (sometimes). While It is a sport rich in tradition and Spanish culture, is is also a sport surrounded by controversy, for many bulls and people have died in its history. iBull will have no matador, and thus no tradition. Lacking the tradition, it will be senseless bull-on-bull violence First, it is a monetary problem. You know how much a bull costs? It’s more than you would think. A full-grown bull can cost anywhere from $3,000 to $5,000, and we would have to replace the dead bulls after every competition. Even selling all of our play to win shirts would only net enough money for one bull at most. If we had this type of money, iBull could be an option, but we don’t. How will we feed the bulls? What will we do with the bull carcasses? Will they just pile up? Will we burn them? Will the bulls eat each other? Whose idea was that? How will the bulls fight each other if they’re starving? What are bulls supposed to eat? What will they do for fun? These questions need to be answered before we can move forward on this issue. Second, there’s no good venue around the school for bullfighting. There’s certainly not enough room inside the school. The football field won’t work, for the turf will be ruined if a two-ton bull even walks on it, let alone stomps and paws around. Bulls can’t fight well while swimming, so the pool is out. That leaves the courtyard as the only location easily convertible to a bullfighting arena. That will have problems too, though. You can’t think of any problems? Well… Enter Max Chu. You’re in the weight room, training like a champion. Your eyes are closed as you ponder the complexities of your communications studies while you lock out on a triple-plate front squat. Suddenly, you’re hit by a raging bull. The bull doesn’t lose any momentum, and it crashes through the other wall of the weight room and keeps going, leaving a gaping tunnel behind it. The foundation of the school gives way, and the whole place begins to collapse like dominoes. All that’s left is a football stadium and a charming little prairie. It’s not supposed to end like this. Bullfighting sounds fun and entertaining, but its not for Ames High. Sometimes we have to restrain ourselves from acting on ideas that sound fun but are actually not possible. iBull? iDon’t think so.