Money for Grinding

Schools are meant for learning. With the incoming addition of iGrind, this healthy environment is in danger. iGrind is a great idea for a multitude of reasons, but there’s one problem that will soon arise if we don’t prevent it. This problem is of course, people paying others money to grind. Before I continue, I should clarify, and say that I am not promoting grinding. In fact, I don’t even like grinding. What I am promoting is a healthy intramural club, free from the wickedness of prostitution. This is Iowa, not the Netherlands or Ankeny. This problem often arises because of popular rap artists refer to “making it rain” in clubs and other gangster settings. People often misinterpret this common phrase as meaning to throw dollar bills on people. The gangsters in question are actually literally referring to liquid precipitation, that falls from clouds. This is often a problem for them because they are “on fire” or “hot”. Once we allow prostitution in the school, who knows what will come next. Drugs and alcohol will inevitably follow, along with various venereal diseases. With all the evil influences floating around, the number of national merit scholars will certainly drop. What’s even worse is that the evil people in our school will become even more evil, possibly turning to terrorism or attempts to destroy Earth. Why don’t we just pay others by allowing them to grind with you? That’s just one of many viable alternatives. People could pay each other with Fool’s Gold, which isn’t real money. They could also use monopoly money. Why not compensate those that grind with you by providing services for them, like computer repair or saxophone lessons? It wouldn’t be a perfect situation, but it would be a lot better than the use of money. iGrind is a fine way for people to relieve stress and express themselves through grinding. It will not be possible if it brings along a wave of prostitution. Prostitution sounds fun and entertaining, but it’s not for Ames High. Give no remittance for a dance.