Senior Article

I’m going to be honest. The only reason I took the WEB this year was to write the senior article. And here we are, two agonizing semesters of writing rage journalism, and reading other people’s articles praising themselves and stuff like that …and I actually don’t have anything to say. On senior articles, people seem to continually write the same thing. That, ZOMG I’m going to miss high school, and ZOMG everything’s been great. But me? I was saying “let me out of here” before I was even a freshman. It’s such a gamble when you graduate. From the start, I guess we all know that high school, really, isn’t going to matter once it’s done. It’s mostly about doing stuff that will make you happy. Or stuff that you think will make you happy. Like I said, I walked into this school as a freshman four years ago, dying to get my diploma, just so I could leave. I’m actually really happy I’m finally done. Some of my decisions probably could have gone better (like dropping a senior year attempt at All-State for what would be pretty poor Glenbrooks trip), and others went better than expected (spending beaucoup d’argent going to a foreign country to learn how to speak a foreign language well enough not to die). Anyways, a short synopsis of my high school career: Freshman year I got an “F” on the “This is Me” speech. Sophomore year I took AP classes. Junior year I took standardized tests, but that’s not really high school because I suck at the SAT. I also went to prom that year with my friend’s ex-girlfriend’s friend. Or something like that, don’t ask me. It was pretty bad. It’s a bad sign if your “date” takes significantly more pictures with other people than with you. But it’s okay, we’re even. And then senior year rolled around and my GPA took a nose dive. It’s okay because I’m still probably going to college. I went to Glenbrooks and that sucked. Then I went to France and that was cool, but then I got back and had to make up a week’s worth of homework. Then I went to prom again. With my friend’s friend’s friend. That was okay, because neither of us cared, I think, and because I am neither a gentleman nor a scholar. Rule of thumb: use French chocolates. Expensive, but probably worth it. Maybe. Anyways, now the school year is done. Now, my colleague(s) here on the WEB will probably spew their guts out in their articles, handing out 4 years of “advice,” regrets, and confessions. But the thing is that I don’t actually remember half the s _ _ _ I’ve done in the last four years. So there really isn’t a giant, generalizing statement I can, and want to make. 1.) The only advice I have is to do whatever you want, and to disregard other people’s advice. Seriously. 2.) I’m too lazy to type up my regrets. 3.) I’ve got nothing to confess. Pulitzer is probably rolling in his grave. Or rotting. So I guess I should thank the WEB for kind of helping me get into college. You guys are all okay. I mean that editors have to go through a lot, with deadlines, and getting people to write stories. Then again, the WEB has a tendency to write articles about themselves, and their own articles, which isn’t classy. Don’t do that. Oh, kudos to whoever tried to get Scott to censor me from saying “kick_ _ _” (ROFLCOPTER), and everybody who thinks I only write angry articles. That’s not true, see Wind Turbine Project, Chas Emmerson, and Charlie Brown Christmas. Anyways, thanks for an okay year, and probably for an okay four years. Stay classy, and kick _ _ _.