The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

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The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

The student newspaper of, by, and for Ames High School.

The WEB

A guideHow to SMOOTHly pick up the opposite sex

Have you ever had the problem of not being able to get the opposite sex to notice you? Well you will no longer come across the problem again because I am going to give some examples of how to smoothly pickup the opposite sex. There are many cliché pickup lines floating around in this world and you should probably stay away from all of them. They include the infamous line, “Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.” This line is way over used and you will probably be called an idiot after using it. The person will not be flattered because they have heard that a million times. Another line you should probably not use is, “Hey good looking, whatchya cookin’?” This line is embarrassing and you should probably never talk to the opposite sex again if you use this as your pickup effort. Senior Paul Zunkel uses the line, “Hey the stars look beautiful tonight, want to lay in the grass and look at them?” I have never seen this line work out for him and he has used it a lot. I recommend you do not use this line if you expect to make some progress. “Your name must be Lucky Charms, because you’re magically delicious,” is just hilarious, and it won’t work. Enough of the bad pickup lines, however, I’m going to move on to the smooth ones. Being smooth and hitting on someone is a difficult combination to master. This mastery of the smoothness takes lots of practice and planning. You cannot walk into a situation being totally unprepared; it will completely backfire on you. But you also cannot come into the situation being over prepared. If you prepare too much, the pickup line will sound wordy and you may stutter and the line will sound perverted. The perfect way to prepare is to just pick out a few lines that you think will work and stash them in the back of your mind for the right moment. For example, here are some pickup lines that I think can be very beneficial. “Is your dad an astronaut? Because someone took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” This line sounds a little corny but I have used it many times and it has worked out very smoothly. A classic line that Ames High Homecoming King senior Ben Dobbs uses is, “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” The girls go crazy when Dobbs uses this line and they fall at his feet with admiration. Senior Jayne Strand likes to use the line, “Are you wearing space pants? Because your butt is out of this world.” I’m not sure if this line actually works so you should give it a try to find out. Pickup lines have been around for thousands, well, hundreds, of years, but not all of them are smooth. Hopefully after you have read this article you will have a strong grasp on which ones can help you smoothly pick up the opposite sex.

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