Pizza Ranch: : the best pizza wranglin’ around

Decades upon Decades ago, America’s cowboy forefathers set forth to the great American West, for no particular reason, but in the mysterious spirit that lies deep within the heart of every cowboy. Soon the cowboys grew tired of their biscuits, gravy, baked beans and other cliché chuck wagon food, but only a small faction dared to venture onwards into a new type of cowboy cuisine. First they traveled east, to learn the art pizza making. Then they traveled back West, to tame the wild flavors of the pizza with a smooth western taste. Finally, they traveled back East, but not too far East, just enough East to land them in the Midwest. Along with their horses, whips, six-shooters and Marlboros, these cowboys brought along the secrets to western pizza perfection. These cowboys began to set up Pizza Ranches all across the Midwest, where their untamed western style pizzas could be shared with the people. And those cowboys have moseyed on over into Ames, Iowa, to share their little slice of the west with us hustling bustling city folks. The big draw of the Pizza Ranch is their infamous mile long buffet; at only half a cent a yard, the buffet will set you back $8.50. It caters to the pallet of any cowpoke, salad bar, a wide variety of pizza, fried chicken, mac & cheese and cactus bread. “The highlight of my Pizza Ranch experience was definitely the cactus bread.” AHS senior John McClelland said “The pizza offered at the buffet was nothing special, but the cactus bread made the journey all worth the while.” The journey may seem a bit far for most busy high school students. Located east off of Thirteenth Street on Dayton, it seems a bit out of the way for students and city folk alike. The obscurity of the location doesn’t stop the business, though. “It was packed when I went there for lunch,” senior Alex Register said, “It was difficult even finding a parking spot. Maybe its just hype, or it could actually be just that good.” Even if your schedule is busy and the Ranch is packed, you can get your pizza to go through their innovative pizza drive-through. That’s right, you’re your own delivery driver. No need for tips or getting up from your favorite television program. “Although I may never go to the Pizza Ranch, I like the idea of the independence.” Iowa Sate Freshman Mukund Premkumar said “Maybe someday I’ll order a pizza from the Pizza Ranch, maybe I won’t. But if I do, I’ll be calling all the shots. That’s what the West is all about.” So go ahead and put puddings on your cactus bread, eat your fill, and drive your pizza wherever you want it to go. The Pizza Ranch allows you to wrangle up your grub anyway that strike your fancy. After all, it’s what wild spirit of America’s cowboys would want.