Quidditch Cluc to take AHS by Nimbus 2000

Ames High is on the brink of establishing its first ever Quidditch Club. Spearheaded by sophomores Kiera Kaufman, Jennifer Shulman, Ian Warren, Kashaaan Merchant, and Chris Jenks, the movement to bring Quidditch to Ames High has already garnered “enough [members] for three or for teams,” according to Kaufman. (That’s twenty-some people, mostly sophomores.) Muggle Quidditch is, like real Quidditch, played with two teams of seven with broomsticks, with each team having three Chasers, one Keeper, two Beaters, and one Seeker. However, Muggle players merely run while holding a broom between their legs, the Beaters throw Bludgers (normal balls) at the opposing team, and the golden Snitch is a person dressed in all yellow, who runs without boundaries, and with a ball in a sock (Snitch) dangling out of one of his or her pockets. A game ends when a Seeker acquires the Snitch. “We’ve talked to Dr. Avise already,” Jenks said, “and he said he’ll give us an okay as soon as we find a teacher sponsor.” “Sorry, I’m not going to do it,” laughed English teacher Steve Hosch when asked to be a sponsor, “because I can’t fly!” Though the upstart sophomores have already been turned down by a number of busy teachers, other teachers have said they’d consider being a sponsor. Among the student body, the idea of a Quidditch Club has sparked both ridicule and interest. Junior Renee Chang has said that she “might join if other upperclassmen join,” while fellow junior Calvin Song snorted in contempt. “Quidditch Club does not seem at the appropriate level for AHS,” Song said. “It’s not good enough for the Asian people. Besides, people can’t fly, so it wouldn’t be Quidditch!” “To all the haters out there,” Jenks said, “obviously flying is not possible. But in 100 years, you’ll be jealous when we can play and you’re still a noob.”