The WEB

PDAs: please stop

PDAs: please stop

Stefan Kraus' Ghost, Unfortunately Spectating Spectre

February 26, 2014

Strolling down the halls can be a harrowing adventure. The midst of the writhing sea of students includes such characters as randies randomly turning around, that freshman who is sprinting, the couple of bros walking impossibly slow, and, of course, that one super jacked dude Stefan Kraus oh man he is...

Students being Bro-pressed

Students being Bro-pressed

Stefan Kraus' Ghost, Ghost of Swole Dude

February 26, 2014

Winter Madness 2k13 Pajama Theme day, 2013. It was a cold day, but not as cold as the hearts of a few Ames High Students. As I made my way to the front doors, my bright hopes that I would have a fun Monday, or Funday as my mom and I call them, were dashed by vicious libel against my personage. “Oh hey, Mr. Musc...

Why do we worship Soccer?

Why do we worship Soccer?

Stefan Kraus' Ghost, Former WEB Staff

February 26, 2014

I love Ames High. I highly appreciate everything about the students, teachers and resources at our school. If I could choose to take a bunch of required classes I don’t care about anywhere in the world, I would decide to go here. But that doesn’t mean I think our school is perfect. And what bothers...

Uncle Stefan’s Wild Predictions

Uncle Stefan's Wild Predictions

Stefan Kraus, Wizard

January 14, 2014

Due to the long turnover time of our news articles, in order to continue supplying the latest news to the students of Ames High, we will be reporting on stories FROOMMMM THE FUUUTUUUURE. These articles will be retroactively guaranteed to be true if it is found out later that they are true. Until then, ...

Christmas: Communist Conspiracy?

Which is Santa, which is Karl Marx? The answer may surprise you.

Stefan Kraus, Opinion Haver

November 13, 2013

The slow dwindling of bro-tank sightings and the crystallization of my nipples into perfect replicas of the Hope Diamond signal the fast approach of the winter solstice. In honor of this charitable time of year, I decided to forego my usual frivolity in subject matter of my articles in an attempt to w...

Super Monkey Ball 2

Behold the face of your Deity.

Hill Wang and Stefan Kraus

October 29, 2013

The relentless turning of the earth brings new wonders into the blinding glory of the sun’s radiance with each new day. Empires rise and fall, kings are born and assassinated, mathematical laws guide matter and energy into conformations that create consciousnesses to perceive the very universe tha...

DoTA 2 “lolz” at LoL

DoTA 2

Stefan Kraus, Resident Professor of Broscience

October 3, 2013

In light of the flood of interest in LoL among the students of Ames High, I decided to dip my toe into the swirling eddies of this Multiplayer Online Battle Arena. Unfortunately, the raging river of quality gameplay I expected was no more than a shallow marsh of knee-deep casual back-to-base item race. ...

Disney stars, downward spirals

Disney stars, downward spirals

Stefan Kraus, Resident Professor of Broscience

September 26, 2013

The steep downward spiral into obscurity leading out of the back door of Universal Studios is pockmarked by the drug-laced craters left by fallen Disney stars. Like physical stars, the period of luminescence is ended by self-destruction into a dense, circular mass in a field of dust and debris. Suc...