When I was asked to write an article on what to do when I had nothing to do, I decided that I needed to take a closer look at this age-old question (thought up, most likely, by some sort of caveman). First off, what is boredom? Merriam-Webster defines boredom as “The state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.” Wikipedia defines boredom as “when someone perceives one’s environment as dull, tedious, and lacking stimuli.” Rand McNally doesn’t define boredom at all. After hours upon hours of research on this topic, I came to the conclusion that when I’m bored, or have nothing to do, to entertain myself, I don’t actually do anything. I literally just sit in one place (also known as festering) and do nothing. I may blink on occasion, but other than that, I am pretty much motionless. Overall, I would probably not recommend this because it’s a complete waste of time…yeah – Eric Foley When I have nothing to do, there is always one thing that can keep me entertained for hours on end: blinking. Blinking, which takes approximately 300 to 400 milliseconds, is a great way to pass the time and at the same time provides moisture to the eye, protects the eye from many irritants, and just looks really cool. Famous actors and political leaders have been seen blinking in their spare time. From Nicholas Cage to Nelson Mandela, many famous faces have been caught blinking. The thing that makes blinking so invigorating is that it can be done in a plethora of ways. One can blink slowly, blink quickly, blink softly, blink hardly, wink (although whether or not winking is a form of blinking has been widely debated for years) with the left eye, wink with the right eye, the list goes on and on (and on). So if you are ever bored and have nothing to do, do what I do: blink. It’s fun! – Eric Foley It’s that time of year again, when Ames High students everywhere are bored but have nothing but themselves to keep them occupied. For decades, students have been sitting at their desks with nothing to do (other than pay attention, which only total lame-Os do), hating the world. Enter thumb twiddling. This activity, invented by Tom Thumb in the seventeenth century, has been taking Ames High classes (no, not social classes) by storm in recent weeks. Fists clenched with angst have become loosely folded hands with thumbs revolving around an invisible axis extending from one hand to the other. Thumb twiddling has become especially popular among varsity athletes, due to the manual dexterity that it requires (and the fact that varsity athletes don’t even have to pay attention in class. Basketball scholarship, here I come [unless I go straight to the NBA, that is]!). – Spencer Arritt If you’re one of the 95% of Ames High students who wear undergarments, you are well aware of the literally endless advantages they provide. Most students wear clothes under their shorts for comfort reasons (believe me, they minimize chafing). Other benefits of underpants include sex appeal, fashion sense, and wedgies. Wait, you say! Wedgies? Aren’t those were the job of bullies? Unfortunately, years of Mean Melvins have greatly distorted the original leisurely intention of the wedgie. The wedgie was discovered in 1893 by Fritz Z. Handelstam, a German entrepreneur who thought the undergarments of his time did not provide enough support while he rode his bicycle. One day, out of pure frustration, he pulled his drawers up as far as they could go. Immediately enchanted by the tension, he would sneak up on his friends and do the same. I consider it a tragedy of our time that this playful and practical gesture has been turned into a harassment tool by those of a lesser intellect. It’s up to you, Ames High. Let’s make Fritz proud, and take the wedgie back. -Bobby Hunter