What Even Is Curling?

Reeves’ Rants #1


Please understand that the only logic for this is that I watched it during the last Winter Olympics. I have done zero research because who wants to read about curling. When was the last Winter Olympics, it could’ve been ten years ago and I wouldn’t know. Well, anyway. 

Curling is that weird ‘sport’ on the ice where when you watch it one tends to ponder the human existence. There’s an obese hockey puck and some boys with brooms or something. They aggressively sweep the ice in front of the obese hockey puck. I have absolutely no clue why it exists. 

The goal, why I know this is unknown, is to get the obese hockey puck into the bullseye at the other end of the ice thing. Here’s what is confusing. There are sports such as shuffleboard that are made for the elderly, low impact and very relaxing. Curling is unnecessarily aggressive and is basically shuffleboard on ice. These ‘athletes’ spend so much time to get to the Olympics for curling, maybe if it was bobsledding that would be cool because it’s like sledding on crack. So why curling, why?